Black Belt initiation into the Inner Journey

5 years ago on this day, I received my Black Belt in JKD and FMA. This moment in time marked a big turning point for me in my journey — it basically made me confront (shatter) all my narratives and embodied beliefs about achievement and power. Up until this point, I was striving hard to reach “feeling good / safe enough” through physical training, which I thought would happen once I got to Black Belt level. Instead, it spurred a personal breakdown (breakthrough) that completely inverted my training. At this moment, 5 years ago, what really happened is I got my White Belt — an initiation into the Inner Journey. Rescuing inner parts of myself has been more challenging than navigating outer opponents, but I feel like I’ve gotten a few stripes on my White Belt these past couple of years. Bridging the external practice with the internal one is my new JKD/FMA journey. And I feel so grateful for the supportive community at UMA where I’ve been able to express my unique martial art story.

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Repost 7/16/2017:

I feel honored to be Sifu Phil Cruz’s first Black Belt at Unlimited Martial Arts.

When I left my old martial art school with a brown belt, I embarked upon a journey of self reflection and discovery to learn and define what being a black belt meant to me. I learned that the martial art journey has to include developing all parts of ourselves and not just about perfecting a physical skillset. I learned that I want to surround myself with people with similar core values that include integrity and compassion. I learned that my actions need to align with my words and beliefs. I learned that no one was responsible for my growth and evolution except myself. I learned that the best instructors are people who create opportunities for others to self-actualize and give their gifts. I learned that I didn’t need a black belt to embody the type of leader that I wanted to become. I learned that the hardest battles that I’ll fight are the ones that no one will ever see, and my life, well-lived, on my own terms, expressing my fullest potential is my quiet and most powerful victory.

Thank you, Sifu Phil Cruz, for bearing witness to my struggles, growing pains, and honoring my unique martial art journey. Sifu Phil has not only been my teacher in JKD and Kali from the first day I was introduced to these arts, he’s cultivated a personal relationship with me that has been built on honesty, vulnerability, and trust. I’ve learned that only through being vulnerable with others about my hopes, fears, dreams, and failures am I able to grow and mature beyond what I deemed possible. Thank you, Sifu Phil and Anthony, for creating a space where I feel fully supported as I continue to learn how to become a better warrior and a better person.