Dying back to our roots 🥀
Despite the warmer weather here in NYC, the leaves are fully transitioning, reminding us that nothing stops Mother Nature — the seasons will shift whether we're ready or not. My body hasn’t been fooled by the spikes in temperature – I’ve been feeling a deep urge to prepare my home for winter. Like a squirrel getting ready for hibernation, I’ve been cleaning and sorting through things I’m ready to give away, hoping this energetic cleansing will help me navigate the winter months ahead.
As the veil between worlds thins at the end of this month, we also find ourselves surrounded by holidays honoring those who have transitioned, such as Samhain, Día de los Muertos , and Undas—the Philippine holiday dedicated to paying respects to our deceased loved ones and ancestors. As we honor those who have passed—warriors in their own right—I wonder: how do we honor our past selves, who, like inner warriors, did their best to navigate life?
Autumn is the season for dying back to our roots. I can’t take credit for this phrase. It comes from my work with Summer Star who helped me tend to my ancestors on my European side. Her quote resonates deeply with me: Autumn is a time for parts of us to die so that our more essential selves can emerge. This process prepares us for winter — a season for intentional tending to and caring for our nervous systems.
For me, these seasonal shifts test my faith. My old warrior identity struggled to trust life unless I was actively making things happen. Now, surrendering to the flow and inevitability of the seasons has become an integral part of my Kali practice. I’m learning to listen to my body’s natural pull for rest and reflection while also honoring the parts of me that crave movement and training. I continuously seek to strike a balance that respects both the current season of nature and the different chapters of my life. Autumn provides an opportunity to shed old narratives, release outdated beliefs, and grieve past selves. Nature teaches us that the thriving and expansion of spring and summer can only emerge after the inner tending required during the autumn and winter months.
As we shed old versions of ourselves this autumn — how do we honor our past selves? How can we acknowledge them, like the warriors of old, allowing us to bring forth new narratives of life?
Join us tomorrow at 6:30 PM EST / 3:30 PM PST in the Decolonization Dojo as we close out Filipino American History Month, and explore how we can navigate this autumn season together.
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